Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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