I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
