So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
