The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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