sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
