Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
