so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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