The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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