dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
