I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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