Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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