i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
