You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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