I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
