Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
