$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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