I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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