dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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