Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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