I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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