so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
