And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
