i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
