She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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