I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
