Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
