i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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