Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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