You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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