I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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