Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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