Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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