he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
