Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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