butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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