im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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