I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
