3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
