i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
