So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
