Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
