I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
