The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
