ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
