I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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