He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
