i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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