I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
