I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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