Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
