Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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