textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she peed on how many people?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
