The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
