try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize