Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize