when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
