Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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